Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
