Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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