We're like a lot better than the average bears
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm getting married
To pizza
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
