oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess