just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.