she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
is that a dick in a sweater?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize