I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
