I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize