The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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