oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's never too late to be topless.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
