I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
