Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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