i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
