I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
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There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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