Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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