Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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