please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
