i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
