I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
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Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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