He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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