my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
