my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
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Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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