with your own penis?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
