i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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