The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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