You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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