Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
