PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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