Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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