There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
