That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
