Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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