I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
