My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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