Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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