i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
