don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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