Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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