Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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