come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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