Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
