Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
