PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize