She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
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I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
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I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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