The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Sober January is a disaster.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
