Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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