I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
