I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
