Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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