This is not my ceiling
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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