Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
