I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
