I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
