a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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