Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
