You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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