Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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