Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
