Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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