i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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