I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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