I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
