Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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