Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The struggles of a small town man whore
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
