Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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