Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is the high leading the old right now
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
