I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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