ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
this just has baby written all over it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
