I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
